Daddy Philosophy: Leveling Up

I realize that I tend to use a lot of sports and gaming analogies when discussing BDSM. There just seems to me to be a lot of cross-over, we are all just players in the great game. There are amateurs and professionals, winners and losers, masters and wannabes…

But yet at one time every master-of-the-craft was a unskilled, inexperienced, rookie. Very few have the sort of natural gifts to go straight from highschool to the pros…Before you try to go slay dragons you probably need to learn how to wield a sword. The road to becoming a true master of any endeavour is paved in countless hours of grinding, of hard-work, and of lessons-learned the hard-way…

To further the gaming metaphor, you can think of BDSM in the terms of a classic role-playing system like D&D. If your character’s chosen class is ‘Dominant’ you are going to need to possess certain character attributes in order to succeed. Attributes most necessary for this type of role are Intelligence and Charisma. If you lack one of these fundamental characteristics, possessing a high level of the other can offset the deficiency, but lack both and you will not have a chance…

As much as BDSM involves physical skills, which like any other motor-skill can be improved with practiced repetition, it’s the more ethereal mental and psychological skills which are required to achieve an opportunity to even utilize the physical skills…

You can possess a dominant personality, you can be aroused by thoughts and images of d/s but the plain truth is you can not claim the title of ‘Dominant’ until you’ve participated in a real-world, negotiated, power exchange. In order to go find yourself a sub and start earning experience you are going to need game; If you don’t have enough charisma to even seduce a partner in a vanilla setting, expecting to take it to a deeper level with d/s power dynamics and some dark and risky play types is going to prove difficult…

There aren’t any short-cuts to earning hands-on experience, studying the available resources to learn the philosophy, terminology, psychology and biochemistry is certainly a good starting point, and very much fundamental to success, but no amount of reading comic-books will turn you into a super-hero…

You have to start small, even if you have big goals, Rome wasn’t built in a day, and no-one is born a master. The real key to becoming a Dom is to earn the devotion of a Sub. Focus on building yourself first, charisma can be enhanced with the confidence that comes from successfully negotiating interactions. All relationships start with initial chats so work on those social skills before jumping straight into looking for a 24/7 slave…

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