So You Wanna: Be a Daddy-Dom

Disclaimer: This post deals with mature themes and if you know me in real life please do not read this unless you want to find out things about me that you’d rather not know. I am not exaggerating here, you probably wouldn’t be able to look at me the same ever again, continue at your own risk…

So I guess I should just come out and say it, even though I’ve largely managed to keep this secret from even my inner-circle of friends and family for about 20 years now, I am kinky; though I have never been truly fond of that term, I don’t currently have a better one to use. Over the last two decades I have both been a slave, and been master to slaves. It all usually gets lumped together under the BDSM(Bondage-Domination-Sado-Masochism) umbrella, although my particular tastes are concerned more with the BD side of the acronym less so than the ‘S&M’ stuff(I’m into pleasure not pain)…

Unfortunately many people who engage in regular sex(called ‘vanilla’ in BDSM speak) have some pretty strange misconceptions about the whole thing. So let’s be clear here, I don’t dress-up in leather gimp-suits, I don’t own a single implement designed to torture or inflict pain, I don’t have a dungeon in my home, I have only ever had to use a safe-word once in my life as a submissive and have never had a partner have to use a safe-word as a dominant, but alas the kind of sex I engage in is so next-level that there is no way anyone could mistake it for vanilla. But I too had the same sort of preconceived notions as a teenager, for many years, in that I was reluctant to acknowledge even to myself that I was one of those BDSM freaks who engage in  ‘rough-sex’…

I fully came into the ‘lifestyle’ in laughably stereotypical fashion. Picture a cocky young twenty-something Wall St. ‘master of the universe’ licking the boots of a leather-clad, professional, harsh mistress. I too laugh when I picture the things I went through during my apprenticeship. But that time did teach me that my true nature was not as a submissive, but that I desire to switch roles and become the dominant. Understanding the switch part of my nature informs all aspects of my life now. But as much as this has thusfar seemed like a confession(and maybe it is), there is an actual point to this post…

‘How can I become a Dom?’ this question gets asked all the time, and for the most part the answer is “You can’t! You are a Dom, or you aren’t, you can’t try to be one”. It’s very much like the question of ‘how do I become the alpha-male?’, it’s not something that you can decide, it’s decided for you. In all seriousness, my primary occupation is stay-at-home father, but I also hold other offices, such as the title of Flamen of Bacchus the Liberator; the ancient Roman god of wine, sex, and freedom, in addition to Hand-maiden of Veritas(a very BDSM  title), the old goddess of truth.  If someone were to ask me how do you get to become the high-priest of a sex-god, the answer is very much the same as how to be a dom; You gots to have not just game but all-world game…

If you are going to dominate a woman, you are going to need consent, the very cornerstone of BDSM. How do you get consent? well you could try asking your uptight vanilla girlfriend, but the sorts of questions you need to ask require a certain kind of woman to be able to not immediately shy away from you. You’d better be able to inspire confidence that you are able to do the sorts of things you claim to be able to do.

I happen to have been blessed by the favour of the old gods, because of my loyal service to them, or perhaps it is because I was blessed that I found them and devoted to them my service. I happen to be tall, handsome, charming, intelligent, and carrying a dangerous weapon in my shorts. I cannot tell you how to make women desire you, I can only tell you what to do with them once you have them under your control.

Do you want to play like a pro? because this is in fact not a game at all, it is an extreme sport, The sheer amount of nagging injuries that I have accumulated during the course of my sexual activities serves as a constant reminder of this. You need a solid background in psychology, anatomy, and bio-chemistry, at the bare minimum.

For example you need to know all about female orgasms: clitoral, vaginal, cervical, uteran, g-spot, a-spot; and I have the skills to bring a woman to all of these in the same session(that is all-star game). I’d bet even your vanilla girlfriend would seriously consider submitting her body to me for those purposes.

You need rigorous physical, mental, and sexual training, I eat a diet high in protein and aminos to provide the building blocks for not only the sex-specific muscles that I need to culture but also to produce the ‘reproductive fluids’ that I require copious amount of. I have never lifted weights as exercise(while fake-alphas are busy getting pumped in the gym their girlfriends are probably checking me out), I only engage in natural activities like walking or swimming, or a regimen of calisthenics that utilizes the body’s own weight as resistance(a fortunate remnant of an unfortunate incarceration). And of course my training partners benefit most when I work-out the sex-specific muscles of the hips, abdomen, and arms during play to further engender specific endurance.

But for the sake of argument, let’s say that you already are an alpha-type professional slut and your question is “How can I be a better Dom” than you are just the sort of type of audience this post is aimed at.

I used to picture a dom as some burly dude wearing various leather fetish accessories, who pretty much gets off on spanking, whipping, slapping and beating women(and there actually are doms like this). I knew that wasn’t me, I am a lover not a sadist. It took me quite some time to learn that being a dom isn’t about taking what you want, it is about taking your sub to places they could never go without you. I had been a harsh dom before, I even married my most hard-core slave, but as time went on real-life started to intrude on my headspace. My wife is a sub through and through, so taking her where she wants to go involves me packing away my switch-side and dominating her full-time. But as I became a father my temperament started to change, I wasn’t that cock-sure young investment banker that I once was, I was a caring and nurturing father who felt very uncomfortable with ever striking a lady, even if she had asked for it. Something had to give.

I eventually stumbled upon the daddy-dom role, as a Daddy your job is, very much like a real father to be encouraging, nurturing, loving, wise, and at times a stern authority figure. Daddies have to sometimes be the bad-guy and use tough-love or harsh discipline, but ultimately it is for the benefit of their child. From a philosophical standpoint all of that meshes very well with where I was at in my life journey.  The only strange thing to me is that usually the other side of a daddy-dom relationship is a little or baby-girl, an age play role where a grown women will act like a little girl. That was a little too weird for me as the actual father of two young girls, and I’ve always been attracted to women on the mature side of the spectrum anyways so that wasn’t going to work for me. Luckily it doesn’t really work for my wife either. Ultimately she didn’t really need to change anything about herself other than to start calling me Daddy full-time.

Throughout my entire life I have been a student of women, and how to give them pleasure. One of the counter-intuitive things you learn when you really learn this subject matter, is that for some, pain can be even more exhilarating and arousing than simple pleasure. It is only for this reason that I ever inflict carefully calculated and measured pain on a sub who desires it. I only get pleasure from the fact that they get pleasure from it. I generally have a rule however that the number of spanks should never exceed the number of orgasms in a session, and all strikes are delivered with my bare-hand(no foreign objects) . Free-hand spanking serves a number of purposes, firstly it provides me with some sharp-pain that my starved sub-side desires, and secondly things are not likely to get out of hand when your hand takes just as much beating as your sub.  I have ruptured enough blood-vessels to know that there could never be sessions where hundreds of spanks are delivered(although for hard-core masochists this is a bad thing)…

All of the doms out there know full well that ownership has it’s privileges, but a good daddy is all about taking care of their girl first and getting theirs later.  So there you have it, if you really want the secret to convincing sane adults to submit their will to you, it’s all about enticement and then having the skills to back it up. Don’t be a fake-dom just because you read Fifty Shades and think it would be awesome to be the man, but yes it is thoroughly awesome, like I have every single one of my deepest desires fulfilled on a daily basis, I seriously have crazier sex than you can even find on the internet, but you really need to give something to get something. If you can’t turn even the hardest women into a gushing, quivering pile of Jello in a few minutes than this isn’t the life for you…But if you are a dom, for the love of all things sacred do not abuse your subs, it makes all of us look bad…

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