Toy Story: Tracy’s Dog, Redi-Cup

So we’re back with another Toy Story post. It was sometime during those hazy and indeterminate initial stages of pandemic lock-down, that I had noticed that the account representative from one of my preferred sex-toy sponsors; Tracy’s Dog, had put out an open-call for a person with boy-parts to test a new masturbatory aid. In part to alleviate the boredom of quarantine, and it was also partly out of sheer curiosity that I answered that call…

For many years I had lamented the simple fact, that men, and those with penises tend to get the short-side of the market when it comes to sex-toys. I can recall a time from my youth when questionable advertisements for the Fleshlight could be found alongside miracle penis growth pills in the dark, back-pages, of the mass-media porno-mags of the pre-internet age. It was hardly a thing to inspire enough confidence for me to ever make any sort of investment in. And so things went for decades, a man, no stranger to sex toys or masturbation, but one who never merged those two things together…

Unfortunately, international shipments from China during that part of the global crisis were understandably, much delayed, so it wasn’t until recently that our government-employed mail-carrier knocked on the door and left a package of sex-toys before making a mad-dash back to safety…

It took a few days after receiving the package for me to find an appropriately private opportunity with which to give the Redi Cup a suitable and thorough testing. I obviously looked over the product and read the instruction manual while I was waiting for the initial battery-charge to complete. I began to feel a bit tentative about the whole experience. One thing that I have found out as a man with a larger than average penis, is that everything from condoms to briefs are not engineered with the well-endowed man in mind. Not only did the width of the opening appear frightfully small, but the depth of the overall cup was definitely going to cause some challenges. I suppose it adds to the realism due to the fact, that many men will never know, that the average vagina cannot accommodate 8 inches either…

As I made the final preparations, including depositing an entire enclosed packet of water-based lube into the orifice, I threw caution to the wind and quite literally made the plunge. I activated the vibrating feature, impressively transferring that sensation into the little well for stimulating the testicles. I then activated the suction feature, which is when things started getting interesting. The textured inside of the cup was definitely doing things, vibrating, pulsating, rhythmically sucking and stroking my cock, all on it’s own. It took me a bit of finagling to position the device to operate in a hand’s-free manner, but when I did, it revealed it’s true glory…

I suppose we have now reached the absolute height of advancement in our technological age, that modern science has harnessed the power of mechanics to create the holy-grail of every sci-fi nerd’s wet-dreams…A blow-job machine…As I played with the ten vibration modes and five suction modes, eventually it brought me to an orgasm so intense that I still involuntarily shudder whenever I look at the thing. It felt as though I had come out on the losing side of a sexy-fight with a vacuum-cleaner…

So there you have it, the Redi-cup  gets a strong recommend from me, as always Tracy’s Dog is trying their best to make live-partners unnecessary…

 

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out /  Change )

Google photo

You are commenting using your Google account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s

This site uses Akismet to reduce spam. Learn how your comment data is processed.