Rant Time: Family Matters

I suppose like most other people, I’ve had my share of friction and drama with not only my own extended family, but also with the families of my romantic-partners. This was perhaps quite a bit easier to understand while I was still a youth. What parent wouldn’t look at a handsome, confident, and entirely too smooth-talking young man with suspicion? Especially as their children were reaching adulthood and beginning to seek to define themselves as individuals apart from the control of their parents…

I was a parent’s worst nightmare; even as a young-man I still took a nurturing, daddy-dom like approach to my relationships, forever encouraging freedom, exploration, and personal growth. I could provide them with the same love and attention that their parents could, but I could also provide the element of sexual-gratification that they could not…

So for many years, I suffered the slings and arrows of unjustified hatred as I guided several of my girlfriends on their journey to independence, painted-out as the inciter and puppet-master of rebellion, rather than the truth that I was only ever a supporter of my partner’s own desires. The truth that I came to learn, was that so many parents are toxic, controlling, manipulative, intolerant, neglectful and abusive and it’s far too easy to blame a witch for casting a spell than to face the reality of their own shortcomings…

I expected that this would cease to be an issue as I and my partners aged. Though another truth that I learned is that there is no age limit on some peoples desire to criticize and tear-down those they purportedly love, as if the mere accomplishment of surviving into middle-to-late life suddenly qualifies one as an expert on all things…

I wasn’t too offended though when my now-wife’s family took an immediate dislike to me. I was just another one of a long list of gentlemen-callers, and people are always quick to assume the worst of me. The first time I met the man who would become my father-in-law he bluntly asked me what my intentions were with his daughter. I assured him that they were honorable, and proceeded to prove it with 15 years of devotion. You would think that would earn me some sort of respect…

We’ve been suitably dutiful over those years as well, always attending family functions, made especially awkward because I had to remain respectful and amicable to people whom I knew had nothing but bad things to say about me anywhere except to my face. At least in those early years, before we were married, people could content themselves with bold predictions of how we would never last, how their prejudiced first impressions of me were somehow correct, despite of all of the evidence to the contrary. The harsh reality is that some people can never acknowledge their own prejudices…

Of course this situation has only gotten worse since we have become open about our lifestyle, suddenly their unquantifiable unease had a target. I don’t expect them to agree with or embrace the BDSM lifestyle, but I do expect tolerance and respect. I’m not sure what world they inhabit, but putting ultimatums to your independent adult children and trying to split-up a happy and successful marriage and family are no longer acceptable in our society. Prince Harry walked away from the most powerful family in the world and a fortune of billions over the same treatment, how would mere unaccomplished commoners ever hope to come-out on top…Blood may be thicker than water, but when you have true love it will truly conquer all…

 

 

 

 

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