So I happened across an interesting article recently (this one) concerning the psychology of BDSM and the effects on it’s practitioners. It certainly got me to thinking about my experiences with the altered state known among the initiated as sub-space.  As a long-time freak daddy with experience on both sides of the D/S slash, I’ve certainly experienced the whole spectrum of physical and psychological arousal. I only need to reference a single very recent session for examples of both sub-space and dom-flow…

First let’s back it way up to the basics. If you spend any time around experienced players, you’ll inevitably hear talk of subspace. And for the most part, rookies are going to feel awkward probing further, perhaps inferring that it is the emotional mind-state(head-space) of the submissive. This is a simplistic definition, but the fact of the matter is that subspace is a hypnotic semi-somnolent sleep-state, falling somewhere on the consciousness spectrum between fully awake and a hypnotic trance. Described in medical terms in the literature as a state of Transient Hypofrontality, in laymens terms a temporary state of reduced functioning of the frontal lobe of the brain. This results in symptoms of reduced reasoning and ability to communicate, with increased tolerance for pain, and susceptibility to suggestion. A potentially dangerous combination if you are a submissive…

Not all scenes will result in achieving subspace, nor all subs are capable of achieving it, yet it is a foundational element upon which the practice of BDSM is built. Subspace is one of the tangible things given over to the dominant in the process of ‘Submission’. An incredible act of trust and vulnerability, putting your will and safety at the mercy of the dominant. Obviously great care should always be taken with the giving over of submission to a responsible and trustworthy dom…

Of course there is a flipside to the state of subspace, the hazily understood dom-flow. If subspace is the natural gift of submission, domspace is the natural drive of domination. I would venture to characterize it as a state of Transient Hyperattention. It can take on many faces from Primal Hunter to intense sadist, to obsessive control freak, to dissociated states and any mix of those elements. Dom-flow is literally why we dom, the giving in to the urges…

So on to my personal observations of late, a few nights ago I inadvertently put myself into subspace in the midst of an admittedly spontaneous switch session with my sub. Odd because I had recently had a discussion with a friend on Twitter about a similar situation. I had told that dominant that she had unconsciously given her own submission to the bottom out of admiration, trust, and ultimately love, and I would very much espouse the same logic as pertains to this situation…

My wife’s breasts were sore and swollen from a day and a half’s worth of inattention. Surely a failure on my part in my duties as her milker in our Adult Nursing Relationship. And although I call her Mommy while I feed on her I don’t often play the role of baby-boy. On this occasion my dom-flow was more along the lines of harvesting her precious bodily fluids for my parasitic pleasure than that of suckling babe. Naturally I was simultaneously pushing her through a series of powerful and wet orgasms. My dom-flow is all about forced pleasure, my sub allowing me to push her to the very limits of her endurance for pleasure(which is certainly sizable).

As I drained her breasts perhaps as roughly as I ever had to the cacophony of her orgasmic moans an indescribable wave of satisfaction washed over me. This was exactly what I understand bliss to be. Feelings of intense admiration and appreciation for my mommy, who was heaving in a puddle of similar post climax love beside me. A sort of switch just flipped inside my head, she was mine, and of the greatest sort of substance of which to own, but I was also hers, and so proud to be owned by such a good girl.

Apparently I was descending into subspace as I was lost in these thoughts because before I knew it my wife was giving me head. She claims that I had subtly nudged her head in the general direction, and I may have done that automatically as I have no memory of it. She began to work my balls and I was so lost in shocks of pleasure. My head was swimming and spinning, a drunken-like delirium of ecstasy and pain as she increased the force with which she handled my balls. Just as I appreciated her greatness she too desired to reward me with service…

I was hard into subspace as the harsh domme that sometimes lurks beneath her compliant good girl exterior came out to play, all the while I begged her to do it with every ounce of my desire and will with only my groans and uncontrollable abdominal spasms. I couldn’t speak, yet there was a voice in the back of my mind reminding me that I would certainly feel the wrath of a ball-torture session in the aftermath of the endorphins…

To her credit Mommy did provide a natural and effective after-care as any good domme should. Gently caressing my balls through the immediate aftermath. We are lucky enough to be in a relationship where we can both experience both dom-flow and subspace even through the course of a single session…

Two interesting things to note that during the process of writing this article I both had feelings of subspace and stinging residual pain in my balls just from thinking about it…