BDSM: The Blooper-Reel

While BDSM is at its core a framework wherein fantasy is made reality, the harsh reality though is things will occasional go wrong. I’ve always said that if you can’t put together a decent blooper reel than you probably aren’t doing it enough. Sometimes I think I’ve seen it all, but that just could never be true. Every-thing from dirty-talk fails, to equipment malfunctions, to furniture collapses, black-eyes or bloody-noses from a stray knee or elbow, to awkward moments with family members…

I am sure many of you can still remember the first time you walked-in on your parents, or the first time a parent caught you fooling around. It’s embarrassing for all parties, probably even more so than the time I finished a steamy session in an out of the way public place only to immediately notice that there was a security camera pointed at us the whole time(at least the guards waited until we were done before catching us…)

It really makes you wonder just how hardcore you are when you find yourself arguing with the clerk at the toy-shop over the terms and conditions of your extended warranty because you’ve broken 3 of the same toy within a week and they are trying to claim ‘extraordinary use’ (I swear it was a design flaw). You really just have to have a sense of humour about these things and try not to let it spoil the mood.

So let’s get into our latest adventure, it was about a week ago. My wife usually works during the day but found herself with a day-off. My older daughter was in school and once my toddler went down for a nap without even speaking about it we both were instantly craving some afternoon-delight. My wife came out into the living room with a goodie-bag of toys and such. I had been brushing my hair and tying it back at the time. Once I saw what she was about I went to go give her a hug and her standard ‘good-girl’ reward spanking. I still had the hairbrush in my hand and only wound-up half-way, since my sub likes to be ‘warmed-up’ to that kind of play.  I rapped her squarely on the bottom but to my surprise the brush completely exploded in my hand leaving a jagged handle and the rest of the brush somewhere halfway across the room. Chuckling about her ‘buns of steel’, I smoothly discarded the broken remains and pushed her over to the couch to get down to business…sometimes you just have to roll with the punches…

I’ll spare you a play-by-play but that session was long and intense and really only ended because the school-bell was about to ring and I had to go pick-up my oldest…One thing of importance to note about this session is that I entered a physical state that I’ve colourfully termed ‘melt-down’. The human body converts certain dietary lipids into stores of visceral ‘brown fat’. This fat produces body heat at a rate of 100-1 to regular ‘white-fat’ stores when burned. It’s basically your bodies emergency heat mechanism. It usually requires extreme cold or extreme physical stress to activate, like jumping into a frozen lake like those polar-bear club people do. Well I guess my play counts as extreme enough physical stress that it triggers the brown-fat activation mechanism and I go into meltdown. I literally radiate heat from my body, turn red and sweat buckets from every-pore on my body. It’s not really a fun experience and it leaves glistening residues of sweat everywhere…In this instance my daughter had left her special pink security blanket on the couch before going to school…oops…

I was out running some errands when my wife texted me “she’s asking why her blankie is soaked”, I shot back “don’t tell her”, a few minutes later she responded with “she’s asking what happened to my brush”…face-palm…The moral of this story is clearly clean up the evidence…

 

 

One Comment Add yours

  1. Rene Trogdon says:

    I am glad to know good information. I will visit you often.

    Like

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